Black Cat Stan

Last week was a nightmare for me. A fox came into the kitchen on two different afternoons and if my human had left my wet food the fox ate it. Infuriating! It sleeps on top pf the sheds – I saw it on top of the Swiss Chalet (my human calls it that) shed where I like to sit and I saw it on the other sheds on the other side of my territory. Then a tabby cat turned up and settled on the roof on the other side of the wall where I like to snooze. Very cheeky! I had to see him off.

It was sunny again today! Straight after breakfast I went up onto the roof and there was that bloody fox again. I had to lie there for the rest of the day to keep my spot – apart from meal breaks, of course. The dog next door kept barking and I think it wanted to fight the fox. Good luck with that! My days have been very disturbed. I have lost my routine of using my litter tray regularly. I need to eat more grass. It’s in the front yard in a pot under an Arizona cypress and I don’t always get the chance to go out the front. But today was sunny so I had a good roll in the sun and ate some of that grass as well. Gotta keep my system in tune.

Today was sunny! After breakfast I went into the garden and up the wall onto the kitchen roof. What did I find in my favourite place? A fox! That is my place! My human opened the window on the roof and the fox wasn’t happy and it disappeared into the ivy. I sat in my place all day – apart from food breaks. I am not having a bloody fox on my territory.

I have been sleeping a lot for a long time. It has been very cold. I have a routine for cold weather. I sleep on the top floor guest bed over night. I get up with my human. I get my breakfast, elk biscuits and some sort of wet food – different flavours each day. I go outside at the front with my human and I look up and down the street for oncoming dogs. Then I go and have a wee in my litter tray. Then I go up on the roof over the kitchen and sleep in the sun if there is any. Then I have lunch and I sleep on my bed by the fire if my human is in there working on her screen. Then I try to get her to play with me. Then I have my meal, then I sleep in front of the fire. Gotta keep my strength up.

Today is the day she puts on the fire downstairs and does strange exercises on a mat. A nice woman’s voice comes out of a light box on the sofa and sometimes it says my name too. Anyway we had an hour of arm waving and body going up and then down, then I hear the ginger man with his monster ginger dog. He rings the bell but I hear them coming. I sit on the fourth step up on the stairs and wait for them to come in.

The dog goes straight to my human in the kitchen and the ginger man comes and gives me a good stroking, all the way down my back. I love that. I tell him I want him to stay but not that bloody dog.

My human got up at the usual time, fed me, looked around, and then went back to bed. In the end I had to go and get her. I wanted some action. Snaky thing play, open the front door for me to go out and sniff, open the back door for me to go out and sniff, stroke me, make a fuss of me. I think she got fed up with me because she went out. I will settle down behind the front door, listen and wait for her to come back. Then I will run to my litter tray for a wee and then race round and get her to play with me.

It’s cold and wet and the fire is on in my human’s lair. Even so, I’m bored. I can scratch behind the sofas. I have already done the scratch on that new post she has got for me. I’m not going to repeat myself. Anyway I am fed up with the treats she gives me for scratching that post. What else can I do? I can scratch the stair carpet under the toys which smell nice. She rubs one of them round my cheeks, very pleasant. What am I going to do with myself for the rest of the day? I can get under the chair I am not supposed to scratch and give it a good kicking underneath. Perhaps I’ll do that.

I like playing with my shiny snaky thing under the tassels on the rug. My human makes the rug move and I clutch at the rug with my claws and – there it is underneath. Better than a mouse. The problem is my human gets bored and goes and sits down and watches a moving screen. Then I have to get her to play some more. It’s not the same unless she concentrates. The worst is when that hand machine rings and voices speak out of it. She jiggles the snaky thing about but she’s not paying attention. I give up.

My human has started staring at the screen again. She didn’t do it for a few days. I want her to brush me down my back and under my chin. Failing that I want her to get off my chair so I can get on it. I have told her I want that or I want my lunch. Not bad – I got lunch and went and had a look at all the tiny feather creatures fighting around those balls in cages under the apple tree. I came back in quick. Too cold.

Lot of visitors in the last few days! I should have seen that coming because there was lot of noisy cleaning with that big monster with snakes coming out of it. (My human made a lot of sounds which sounded like me when I am fed up!) The garden is too cold to stay out and the roof is too wet to sit on. I ate some grass and was sick. Very satisfying. Then I threw my litter around in the downstairs bathroom. Made a good mess. Then I went up to the guest bedroom on the top floor. Nice comfy bed in there.